Are American’s really this stupid? You know what, don’t answer that. I really shouldn’t even HAVE to make this blog post. But considering the fact that some people are ignorant, racist and just plain begging for a punch lately, I guess I’ll have to go ahead and talk about what it’s like to be a, and I quote, ‘Asian-Washed, self-hating black person’. Blog post after the sexy.
This post won’t be very long but it will be particularly image heavy seeing as the only thing that’s keeping me from chunking my laptop at a wall is Taeyang and the fact that I wouldn’t be able to stalk his twitter if my computer was damaged…and that going to school would be pretty much impossible with a destroyed laptop. That aside, I’m thankful to the boys of Big Bang and other various artists for keeping me out of jail tonight. If only everyone had such wonderful muses that made them stop and think about the course of their actions. Please, ye Gods of Korean Pop music, keep smiling on me while I attempt to refrain from physically harming the mindless bigots of the world.
I’m not normally a very violent person, in fact I’m quite the opposite. I’d like to believe that I was a fairly intelligent person and that I could use my words to diffuse even the stickiest of situations. But at the end of the day, I’m human. And sometimes humans just want to knock each others teeth in. This strange agression stems from a comment a now ex-friend happened to make while we skyped from our respective bedrooms. Anyone that knows me at all, or happens to follow either my WordPress or Tumblr blogs knows that I’m a pretty big fan of Korean Pop Music and Korean Culture in general. And, while my ex-friend and I chatted quietly about this and that, my cellphone happens to ring which in turn triggers a fangirl giggle fit as my ringtone happens to be Taeyang’s ‘Where U At’. After I hang up with my mother my ex-friend takes it upon herself to launch us into a full scale debate over how I “Really need to learn to appreciate my own race.” …I can’t even begin to explain the idiocy of this comment. But, okay. You want to debate. Let’s debate.
Ex-Friend: You spend all your time listening to that music, do you even understand the lyrics?
Me: 나는 한국말 조금 알아요. (I understand a little Korean.)
Ex-Friend: See that’s what I’m talking about, you don’t even speak English anymore. What even are you?
Me: …I’m the one that doesn’t speak English? And I apologize, I didn’t know that in order to be classified as a specific race I have to only speak a specific language.
Ex-Friend: That’s not what I’m trying to say.
Me: Then what are you trying to say?
Ex-Friend: You’re so Asian-washed! Why are you trying so hard to be Asian? Do you hate the fact that you’re black?
So, apparently being multicultural, open-minded and accepting of other cultures automatically means I hate myself and my race? What? I can’t even…
I have to apologize for my Ex-Friend’s ignorance here. I feel sorry for her and for the children she will undoubtedly raise to be just as ignorant as she is. It’s a tragedy that someone this stupid will be allowed to reproduce and damage another generation with her bullshit ideals.
I won’t transcribe the rest of the conversation because it got even more offensive as time went on. By the end of the hour long conversation not only was I ‘Asian-Washed’ and ‘Self-Loathing’ I was also a racist socially awkward shut-in with ‘yellow fever.’ …Those are her exact words.
As an adult, I feel as if I shouldn’t have to explain myself and my actions. But then I couldn’t help but think, what if she wasn’t the only person I knew who felt this way about me? What if, when I broke into random Korean with my friends, parents, even my pastor at Church, what if they thought I was attempting to be racist or belittle them in someway? Half of them won’t see this blog post but I really want to apologize that you’re stupid enough to feel that way. With all due respect. I speak Korean because I am learning the language. And typically when you’re learning anything you want to get in as much practice as humanly possible. If I’m wrong, feel free to correct me. I speak Korean because it is a beautiful language with a fascinating history and dammit I love the way it feels when it rolls off my tongue. I speak KOREAN because I LIKE speaking Korean. It has nothing to do with race, it has nothing to do with color or location, I speak it because it’s fun and because I can. I’ve been told by Korean natives that my pronunciation is impeccable for a foreigner and you know what, that makes me damn proud of myself. And if that offends you, I think you should pull on your big girl panties and kick rocks.
Why are you trying so hard to be Asian? So, let me get this straight, by being attracted to different cultures,being multilingual, dating outside my race and liking music from different countries, I am attempting to change my race? So I guess that means on top of Korean I’m also attempting to be Japanese, French, Spanish, and a flipping ELF because I speak a little Elvish too, right? Auta miqula orqu.
I’ve honestly reached my limit when it comes to dealing with people and their opinions. Just the other day some guy I was talking to on Facebook berates me for preferring Classical Music to his favorite boy band One Direction. Yeah that’s the face I made too. And he’s supposed to be a doctor. A DOCTOR that listens to One Direction and shuns people who listen to Classical Music…I don’t want to live on this planet anymore. I wonder how he would have reacted if I told him I listend to KPop since, some Asians I’ve met thought I was racist because for liking it. See, dumbasses come from all races and all walks of life.
I guess that, since I don’t have the technical know-how to build a rocket or locate an inhabitable planet that could support human life, I’m stuck here. And as long as I’m human and living on earth I’ll have to deal with these morons every.single.day. It’s sad to think that in 2012 people still haven’t decided to just love each other. It sucks knowing that I’ll be continuously persecuted by people because of the things that bring me joy. Well….fuck it.